Sunday, August 20th 1995
Let me start with yesterday. I slept in until 9:30. I hung around until and then I babysat until 1 a.m. It was only supposed to be until 11, but they missed the party bus back to Clearwater. I had fun I guess. I made $30. I needed money to pay off my Spanish translator* and Reba CD. I went to church, talked to Mari and rearranaged my room. Katie, a girl in my youth group, mother died of stomach cancer. No one knew about it. Did I mention that when Jon called he said I was the nicest person he’d met in a long time? He also remembered I love yellow roses. He said he missed me. I’m so nervous about starting high school it is not funny. At least Mari is in typing with me and Sarah G will be in my English and Critical Thinking skills and Geometry classes witbh me. They’re my friends. I hope I meet and make new friends. I also hope Ryan is there. I don’t like him but he’s cool n-all. I need friends. I saw Eric M and Jeremy D at the parent orientation. I didn’t see Aaron there, I wonder if he still lives here. I doubt if any of those guys will wanna be friends with me. Who knows?
I already have everything planned out: my clothes, beauty supplies, and school stuff. I have swimming directly after school. Krissie B will take me to it and then to church afterwards. I bet I won’t have a social life whatsoever. I don’t want to go to school. High school scares me. I’m very afraid. I hope my guardian angel will be with me. I hate swimming. It’s not my sport but oh well. We rearranged my room. It’s nice I guess. I can’t wait until Jon writes me back.
I just talked to Mari (via a phone). We planned where we were going to meet and all that good stuff. There is a 7-11 in my high school. We have Coke machines in every hall. It is cool, but I’m nervous!!
Friday, August 18th, 1995
Last night’s entry was weird. For some reason I had to write that. Now I’m happy. I called Mari and we talked for 45 minutes. Then Jon called. Yes, my Jon of Raliegh, North Carolina called me. We talked for one hour and 20 minutes! I can’t believe he called. We talked about sports and school, friends, and everything else. He wrestles and makes pretty good grades. I love his voice! I am still in shock that he called! Thank God! I asked him why he hasn’t written and he said he had been at camp (they went rock climbing) and he had a picture taken in is waiting to have them developed but he remembered me. He remembered I love yellow roses. I’m going to give him a nickname when I think of one. He said I was the nicest person he’d met in awhile. He said he missed me. We talked about music. He likes Live, Green Day. I told him about Allison Krauss and our song being nominated for CMA awards.
I had swim team practice today. We were timed in the 100 and two 500’s. I was the slowest out of everyone. I felt bad. Swimming isn’t my sport. Maybe softball is. Who knows? Guess what? David Justice hit his 17th homerun tonight. I was so happy. My sister babysat Josh today while I was at swimming. I babysit him tomorrow from 2-11. Last night I had another Largo orientation. It was BORING!
August 17th, 1995
I am so upset I could cry! It’s been 2 weeks and I haven’t gotten a response from Jon. Ashley wrote me on Tuesday and Val wrote me today. I babysat at the church nursery Tuesday night from 6:30-8:30. Gabrielle, Cody and Sidney were there. I had fun. I have 67 volunteer hours. Swimming has been fun. I missed it on Monday because I had a Largo High Orientation. That was fun. I saw Mari and met and made some new friends including a guy named Ryan. He is cute and short and has an earring. But he is nice and I had to sit in his lap for a game thing we did. But he is sweet and that was good. There are some really fine guys at Largo. I saw where my classes would be. Mari and I walked around the school. Largo isn’t that big and it is neat. You can eat in the courtyard. On Tuesday I had practice. My coach wasn’t there, but the male helper person wa. He is cute. I’ll go into detail tomorrow about the rest of the week and swimming.
Right now I’m upset at Mommy and Daddy is mad at me. My life is a mess and a disappointment. I wish I could run away.
August 1, 1995
Okay there’s a hurricane (Erin) and it’s going to hit the FL (the Tampa Bay area). I’m scared to death. I’m at Nana and Papa’s. We’ll have to evacute tomorrow. I’m so tired so I’ll write tomorrow.
Okay it’s Wednesday. Erin is a tropical storm. It won’t be going through Tampa Bay but farther up. It ptobably won’t hit here in Homossassa. But as we were fixing the shop (moving stuff, sweeping) there were strong winds, enough to blow me away. And rain. But the wind was causing stuff to fall from the trees. I had to get up at 7:15 yesterday. I saw Clueless with Tina. She came over and we hung out and then helped Nana and Papa put up storm shutters up and threw the pool chairs into the pool. When we got back from the cabin last Sunday, well two the two Sundays ago I had 10 letters including one from Jon. It was 3 pages and I wrote him back. The Braves game was fun but MARTA scared me and we had to buy tickets off scalpers and the game was sold out. We missed the first two innings. We sat in centerfield, the upper deckl We moved around 4 times. The Braves won. The beach weekend was fun. We had a toga party and I got thrown in the ocean. We built sand people (Lindsey, Luka, Josh, and David and me) hung out together. I also got my own room. But more on that later when I am home.
Friday, July 21st 1995
Three weeks ago tonioght I met, fell in love with, and had my first kiss from Jon. Wow. I’m keeping track. The Delgado’s are back and my sister is palying with Steven. We saw two snakes in the creek. I sat on the porch and thought about Jon and camp and about next year if I see him again at camp. I know it sounds pathetic-all the things I’ve written in here about John, but as you see I really like him. Tomorrow is the Braves game, then on Sunday we go home to Florida! I’ll get to see Willow, Charcoal, and see if I got mail from my friend from camp.
I never realized that my eyes are green-gold and my heair gets a reddish tint to it every now and then. We went to a craft fair and shopped. I got these name keychains for Val and me and a Braves shirt (David Justice #23). At a hardware store we went to this old guy followed me around to make sure I didn’t steal anything. Like I’d steal anything. I mean get a life! Got 2 go.
Ps-My sister gave me beef jerky.
I think the PS-Beef Jerky thing was so important because I was supposed to be a vegetarian.
Thursday, July, 20th 1995
My favorite thing to do is sit in a rocker or swing and think. I like to do it at night when the lightning bugs come out or any part of the day. Sometimes I pretend that Jon is by my side, but usually I think about him or camp. Sometimes I dream that it’s just Jon and me up here, We talk or I sing. I’ve been making up songs lately. They don’t make sense but I don’t care. I’ve come to realize that I am beautiful. I may be beautiful to some and not to others. Jon thinks I’m beautiful and that’s all that matters. I hope he wrote me back and doesn’t think I’m crazy. I just explain how I feel. He can take it or leave it. I wish I could see him. I dream that he’ll come walking down the street and we’ll run to each other and embrace. And we’ll have this long, passionate kiss. I dream bout him at night. I think I’m really in love.
Tuesday, July 18th
I’m happy- I love it here , I’m in love, I’m in love. Good evening world-I love you. We played in the creek (Dad got some pictures of me on the rocks) and we car hiked. That was okay, but we met this old guy then went to this ugly ‘ole restaurant where they had okay food and the best peanut butter pie and they played country music. I took a quiet walk/hike. I’ve taken a lot of them, mainly to think of Jon and growing up and songs and stuff. We visited the people down the road (the ones with the two sons). Steven (the 11 year old) and my sister played and I talked with the adults about country music, baseball, the cabin. They called me Martina McBride. They live in Atlanta. My fav thing to do here at night is to lay on the swing listening to the familiar creeks of the the swing, the crickets, and the creek. I look at the stars and make a wish. I dream about Jon and the cabin. I watch the fireflies and remember the times I’d had at the cabin.
Monday, July 17th
My sister isn’t feeling well. She has a stomach virus or something. Daddy and I went for a car hike, while mom stayed home with my sister. We looked for a road where the creek runs by and we could put the tubes in. We drove around some old mountain roads. I saw 10 Baptist churches, a chicken farm, cornfields, and gorgeous mountains. Daddy and I did some errands and I bought some tapes to send vocal messages to Valerie and Jo and whoever else. I also bought a Brave hat. I still am acting nice. We tubed down the creek and me and some people who bought a cabin down the road. They have two sons – 11 and 15. Daddy gave me a hard time about the 15 year old. Luckily he isn’t here. I really don’t care since I have Jon, but I’ve had some pretty weird thoughts about the 15 y.o. I hope Jon doesn’t think I’m a nut. I just wrote what I felt and they were pretty deep. He probably doesn’t want to ever write me again. I don’t blame him. Everyone is is getting on my nerves.I want to scream. Lord do I need some time alone. I’m mad at mom because she uses a tone of voice I hate, then says stuff that makes me angry. Dad because he had gas attacks right near me when he he knows I can’t stand it when people make smells near me and he told me I was walking too far ahead. I was 10 steps ahead of my sister because she is doing things to aggravate me and is nosy and AHHHH!! It is so hard to be nice. All I want to do is yell.
Sunday, July 15th
Yesterday Mom and Dads friends the S’s visited us at the cabin. I had a lot of fun. Mr. S. is going to try and get us tickets to a Braves game. I hope to go. It’s really nice up here. We’ve tubed down the creek, hiked, and picked blackberries. I love it here. I hope to take my kids here when I have some. The creek is one of the best parts of the cabin. I’ve spent hours building dams, trying to catch minnows, splashing, and just fooling around in the icy cool water.
I’ve had a lot of time to think about Jon and my future. I’ve decided to move to North Carolina and attend a Lutheran college near there. Jon is one of the reasons I want to move. I am convinced that we are destined to be together. I haven’t thought much about other guys. I need to concentrate on Jon, hoping he’ll fall in love with me. I can’t guarantee that there won’t be other girls in his life or guys in mine. I just hope he’ll realize that we are made for each other.
We tubed down the creek after dinner. My sister is okay. She and I talk. Sometimes she acts like a friend. She is cool, I guess.
Friday, July 14th, 1995
Today is Daddy;s 37th birthday and two weeks ago, my first kiss. I wrote Jon. It was 9 pages long and in the letter I wrote what I felt, like how I loved looking into his eyes, being in his arms. How I loved the slow dances and I thought I’d melt when he kissed me. I told him my real name and I told him it was my first kiss. I didn’t want to lie.
The cabin is gorgeous. The car ride yesterday was a pain in the butt. My sister is so annoying. She took my letters and tried to read them, lied and got me in trouble. Cody was good in the car. Better behaved than the both of us. I have a head cold. We went into town (McCaysville) to get a dog brush for Cody, medicine and a bandanna for me. I bet the town’s population is less than 200. I probably have more people in my neighborhood than in this town. We tubed down the creek. The water wasn’t that cold. I sat on a rock in a creek and thought if I were to have a honeymoon anywhere it would probably be here. I’m hoping in my heart that one day Jon and I will marry. I love him. I miss him. I think about him all the time.
If Jon writes me back after that confessional it will be a miracle. It’s cute that that 14 y.o. Danielle thought a Honeymoon in a cabin in the Georgia mountains was romantic. 28 y.o Danielle was smart and went to Hawaii.