Monthly Archives: July 2012

Mortification Monday

Each Monday, I’ll offer a glimpse into my teenage diaries. No joke (and no editing).

11-16-1993

Dear Diary,

Kyle dumped me yesterday. I was so mad but know I am happy. I ignore him now. I had Drew ask John C. out for me. Kyle is a immature, insensitive prep, ugly jerk with plastic hair. He is so ugly he makes Mark L look like a god. Krystal’s back.! Yeah. I HATE MY EX KYLE. He could make the world happy by jumping off the Skyway Bridge or kiss himself. He can kiss my ASS!!!!!!!!!! If he thinks he can drop me like a fly. I’ll get him good.

Love, Danielle

Notes on the entry above:

1) Clearly Kyle and I weren’t meant to last. I have no idea why he dumped me.
2) Who is John C? Did he even say yes to me asking him out?
3) Man was I mad.
4) The Skyway Bride connects St. Petersburg to Sarasota. Once it broke and killed a bunch of people. Suspension bridges still terrify me.

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Testing 1, 2, 3..Is this thing on?

Hello?

Hello?

<crackle> <feedback>

Sorry about that. Guess I shouldn’t eat the microphone.

I’m Danielle, your headliner tonight.  I’d like to thank you in advance for sticking through the show, especially since there are no refunds. You can learn more about me in the About Me tab.

In the meantime, enjoy some bad poetry, middle school angst, high school horror stories, and occasional writing updates. I’m wearing my high school heart on my sleeve one blog post at a time.

Danielle, out

<sound of mic dropping to floor>

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