Tag Archives: mishaps

Mortification Monday or True Love is Watching Your Crush Barf

Today’s Mortification Monday continues the Danielle and Justin saga at camp. Camp is winding dawn, and there is of course a milk-drinking contest at lunch which leads to a very memorable dance. I think the best part of this entry was that I was perfecting the “bitch face” at 13.

 

 

 

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Mortification as Inspiration

It’s not Monday, but how about some early morning mortification?

 

True story.

I’ve been doing an outdoor bootcamp four days a week. I might be getting buffer. I also might need new pants as I recently learned that if I do enough squats I will split my pants. In public. In front of 40 strangers.

 

Another example? I threw up on myself while driving home from work last month. I had the stomach flu and thought I could beat it home.

Nope.

I was two miles away when I just started spewing all over myself while driving 60 mph down the freeway. Barf got everywhere and the car smelled for days, despite getting detailed. That wasn’t even the first time that happened this year.

Earlier in the spring  I had this nasty chest cold for weeks. It was nothing but mucus and a hacking cough. I was sleeping on the couch and drinking cough syrup with codeine.  One morning I was running late for work (as usual). I started chugging my lukewarm coffee when all of a sudden I coughed and Wham! Vomit on the dashboard/ windshield.

Hilarious.

Fortunately, I managed to project it and avoid actually barfing on my clothes. Also, since I have dogs, I had towels in my trunk. And it wasn’t that bad.

But can you imagine what the driver in the car next to me thought?

The moral of this is story is don’t chug your coffee while driving. Or drive while suffering from stomach flu. Or exercise (kidding). Also, mortification can lead  to inspiration.  I’m already plotting a story in my head where this happens to a teenage girl while on a date. I mean, how awful would it be if you were on a first date with a guy and you chug your coffee or milkshake and then throw up all over his car? Or your pants split. Or both? That’s comedy at it’s best folks.

The next time you throw up on yourself or a bird poops on you or you trip and fall into a mud puddle on your way to school, look at it not as an embarrassing moment, but as material. Write it down in your notebook and use it the next time you hit a road block in your story.

Your turn: Tell me a mortifying story!

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