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Mortification Monday

Friday, July 21st 1995

Dear Diary,

Three weeks ago tonioght I met, fell in love with, and had my first kiss from Jon. Wow. I’m keeping track. The Delgado’s are back and my sister is palying with Steven. We saw two snakes in the creek. I sat on the porch and thought about Jon and camp and about next year if I see him again at camp. I know it sounds pathetic-all the things I’ve written in here about John, but as you see I really like him. Tomorrow is the Braves game, then on Sunday we go home to Florida! I’ll get to see Willow, Charcoal, and see if I got mail from my friend from camp.

I never realized that my eyes are green-gold and my heair gets a reddish tint to it every now and then. We went to a craft fair and shopped. I got these name keychains for Val and me and a Braves shirt (David Justice #23). At a hardware store we went to this old guy followed me around to make sure I didn’t steal anything. Like I’d steal anything. I mean get a life! Got 2 go.

Love, Me

Ps-My sister gave me beef jerky.

 

Notes:

I think the PS-Beef Jerky thing was so  important because I was supposed to be a vegetarian.

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Mortification Monday

Wednesday, July 11th

Dear Diary,

News Flash!!! On Monday I got mail from Ashley (AC) and ta-dah- Jon!He said he’d write and he did! Wahoo! Yes!! According to his letter he thinks I’m beautiful- I have nice eyes, smile, hair, and personality. He’d really love to see me again and wants my number. nd he wants my picture. He wants to send me one later because he has no good ones. I think he’s interested in me. But he doesn’t really remember me because I’m not beautiful. But I’ll let him think that.

Love, 

Danielle

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Mortification Monday

Sunday, July 2nd

Dear Diary,

I’m back home in Florida, but I wish I was still at Lutheridge. I keep remembering little things like playing with the salt shaker at lunch, singing a song for our saying grace. I’m homesick for Lutheridge. We spent the night at the same hotel as we did last year when we went to an Atlanta Braves game. It was in Tifton. Mom thinks Jason (aka Forrest) is the nicest, most well behaved young man. He’s not that all the time. I’ve been having thoughts about the kiss between me and Jon. I know everything it happened but I feel weird inside. It’s almost like it didn’t happen. I want it to be real but I just can’t remember everything. I hope it was because I told lots of people and I wrote it in here. I would never lie to my journal. 

I wrote a song called “Just Maybe” and it’s about Friday night. I’ll write it:

“Just maybe”

I lost my heart that night

when I looked into your eyes

I felt safe in your arms

where no one could do me harm

I took a chance

by asking you to dance

Something happened inside my brain

I’ll never be the same

Chorus: 

Just maybe we’ll see 

the same stars tonight

If I look into your eyes

everything will be alright

Just maybe

You’ll remember me

 

I felt your lips on mine

Then we said our goodbyes

We went our separate ways

But I still think of you every day

 

Chorus x2

 

Just Maybe

 

 

In case you didn’t know it was about me n Jon. The kiss seems weird. I guess I’m going through denial. I loved it, in fact I wish more had happened. But it is all over with. I’ll probably never see him again. I wrote him and 4 of my friends today and I’ll mail them tomorrow. If he writes me back I’ll send him the song. I wish Jon lived here in Clearwater, Florida. I wouldn’t care what mom and dad would think. I would want to see him. I’m allowed to group date but I don’t have to worry about that since my true love lives in North Carolina. I may be just pretending that he likes me. I hope he does. Would you kiss someone you’d met 30 minutes ago if you didn’t like them.? I wouldn’t. I’ll always remember Lutheridge ’95 because on Friday, June 30th, 1995 I got my first kiss. It might have been just a peck but I don’t care.  A kiss is still a kiss.

Love, Danielle

 

Notes:

What I love most about this is that I feel the need to explain what the song is about not just once, but twice. 

 

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Mortification Monday

Saturday, July 1st

Dear Diary,

We’re on the way back from camp. I keep remembering things that happened this week like on Sunday, the arrival at camp, the games, my letter from Valerie, the people I met, my fake name (Char) and Monday the rope course-me trusting people, crawling on a board mid-air to scoop a bucket off the ground with a rod, the pool, my “cruish” on Nick, falling douwn a mt in2 mud, the table I sat at, the Vespersm the games in PB field, the pooring rain. Tuesday the trip to “warm” springs. Which was very cold, changing on the bus. Wed- canoeing, swimming, the vegetarian burger, finding out about Nick liking Carter, the gift store, the ice cream place, our shaving party, our skit starring me as Jesus and the Care vespers. On Thurs- my pj’s to breakfast day, my not talking for 7 hours, our campout. when Michael said he was gonna kill himself, the cookout, me meeting a guy named Charlie after I gave up on guys, the rain. On Fri- stuffed animals at breakfast, councelors dressing up, the dance, Jon, my first kiss, the games we played when Capture the Flag was rained out, the box game, dancing with Troy, playing water balloon volleyball, our nature walk, making cards for GD staff, our last shaving party and trying to figure out who Susan liked. Saturday was tear day. We ate a late breakfast at camp, packing, cleaning, the pictures, and goodbyes.

Right now we are in Cordale, GA. There are rude people everywhere. Jason is nice and the trip back is going fast. I guess because we have so many Lutheridge stories to share and things to remember. I’m at peace. I’m carefree with the look of love in my eyes. I just remembered a song. Here’s the part I know, “I see you in a different light, your hair falling down and love in your eyes.” Last night reminded me of 2 songs- Reba’s “She Thinks His Name Was John,” as in I met a Jon. The song goes, “Broad shoulders and blue eyes, his hair was black. She let his smile just sweep her away,” Well that describes Jon. And a song by Little Texas called “Southern Grace.” It goes, “First time I felt the magic of her kiss was under a Carolina moon.” Well that her is me and we were in orth Carolina and there was a moon. 

I feel so in love and there’s a sparkle in my eyes, one that’s never been there before. A secret smile appears when I think about Jon and the kiss. I know he doesn’t have a girlfriend. I’m going to write him. And get this- I reached all 3 of my goals. I accomplished something. I read notes about what my cabin members though ot me. Some said they liked my personality, someone said I brightened their day with my morning smile and singing, some said they liked my talents and gifts, I’m also incredably outgoing and talkative and sweet and sensative. I was there for them when they needed me. I’m a good influence, cheerful, a good friend and a person told me that I’ll be famous one day- as a pastor, singing, or writing. I was also a best friend to someone who didn’t have many friends. I was the world to her. She thought I was beautiful, creative, and nice. And one girl said, “You’ll never know how great of a friend you’ve been to me.” I not only made a differance in their lives, but everyone elses. They changed my life. I thank them. I hope I don’t sound to full of myself.

Love, Danielle

Notes:

*All spelling mistakes are intentional and as they appear in my diary.

This entry was 7 pages long.

I did sound full of myself. Actually, I sounded a little bit like a douche canoe. I kind of want to punch 1995 Danielle in the face.

I can’t believe I was quoting country songs.

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Mortification Monday

Wednesday, June 28th

Dear Diary,

Today was Zoe’s and Forrest’s surprise b-day party. But we called it off. Today at breakfast I gave Nick my warm fuzzy but he refused it. He likes Carter but she does’t like him. Taylor is my friend. He wore my warm fuzzy. I was upset about the Nick thing. I got 2 B Jesus in a skit. I gave up on guys for awhile and I’ve decided to become a pastor. I wrote a song and gave it to one of the male counselors in PB. I can’t believe the week is half over. I don’t mind that no guy likes me. I wish I could see into the future.

Love, Danielle

Thursday, June 29th

Dear Diary,

I made a bet with some people that I wouldn’t talk all day. I was quiet for 7 hours. We wore our PJs to breakfast. It was a bonding thing. I can’t believe the week is almost over! I love it here. I’be made good friends- guys and girls, and met rad counselors. The sleepout was tonight. Michael threatened to kill himself but he didn’t mean it. It upset everyone. His dad was killed in a car accident. I fell asleep and was victim to Truth or Dare. Someone licked my forehead, kicked me in the head, and grabbed my foot. Some guy was supposed to grab me but he grabbed my sleeping bag instead. I met a really cute guy named Charlie (even though I gave up guys).

Love, Danielle

Notes:

You got a two-for-one to set up all the drama for next week’s entry.

What happens at church camp stays at church camp.

Clearly I didn’t really give up on guys or become a pastor.

And yes, I used the word “rad.”

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Mortification Monday

Tuesday, June 27th

Dear Diary,

Camp is a positive experience. I enjoy it. I have met great guys and nice people. Plus I’ve grown closer 2 the Lord. My cabin is cool. I like a guy named Nick. He’s tall, blue eyed and freckled. He is at my table and really sweet. I’m friends with Taylor, a nice guy. He’s a pal. No one can be as loyal as he is. He talks about his girlfriend every day. They love each other. I see my sister at meals. She looks like she is having fun. I know I am special and I have one special gift from God: that is my ongoing love to others. I care about them and respect them. 

We were hiking and creek walking 2 day. I had fun and the water was cold. It rained yesterday and early this morning. I awoke to falling rain and birds at 6:00. Almost half the week is over. I see Val a lot. She’ cool. So is my counselor. I can talk to her about everything.

Love, Danielle

Notes: What can I say? I really love camp.

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Mortification Monday

June 25, 1995

Dear Diary,

I’m at camp! I got a letter from Val! I love camp. I already met 2 guys and have tons of friends It is so kill. I kinda like this guy Michael. Everyone in my friend Carter’s cabin thinks he likes me but I doubt it. I still have to meet Dylan, this guy Val wants me to meet ans I have to see Val. My three goals for the week

1) to partake in the light of God

2) to make friends

3) to meet a guy

Well g2g

Love, Danielle

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Mortification Monday

June 22, 1995

I’m in a hurry packing my things for camp. Day Camp has been a blast. I’ve made new friends and I got to improve my writting* skills by working on the newspaper I thought it would be a major drag but it was awesome! I met this really nice counselor named Kara who works at LOMF and was at Day Camp. We became friends. She is going to become a pastor. I have her address. I’m going to write her.

Last night we had a youth group picnic. I was ditched and left out of things. I felt awful. It hurt. I even cried when I fell asleep. I think I like Jason D. He is going into 11th grade. I think he is cute but he has a girlfriend. But he’d never go for a loser like me. Valerie is going to introduce me to her guy friend Dylan. I can’t wait. Lindsey [other] Jason, and I are planning a fake birthday for them at camp. They are pretending to be twins. I’ll explain later.

Love, Danielle

Notes:

*I love that I talk about improving my writing skills and I misspell writing.

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