Monthly Archives: March 2014

Mortification Monday

Monday, July 3

Dear Diary,

I wish I was still at camp. I miss the air, the trees, the people, the smell, everything. I can still picture myself there singing and talking. I keep having flashbacks on things we did or something that happened. I got my pictures back of camp. Some turned out well.

Love, 

Danielle

Image

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Bady Poetry Friday

Mike- 2nd Chance

You had time to pull your shit together

So why do you return to your asshole tendencies?

Do you enjoy driving me back to beer and cigeettes?

At least I know they’ll always be there

One of these days you’ll wake up

and realize I was the best thing ever to happen to you

and you screwed up

Funny how I thought you might be worth saving

and I sacrficed myself in the process

 

Notes:

This doesn’t so much feel like a poem but rather an open letter. Man was I angry.

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Throwback Thursday

Throwback Thursday

April 2004, San Fransicsco.

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March 27, 2014 · 1:20 pm

Tune in Tuesday: You Had Time

This is another song on Avery’s setlist in SECRET HEART. I’ve been a Ani Difranco fan for years and it didn’t feel right not to have Avery play her music. Fun fact: in college when I hosted my Angry Girl Syndrome radio show I had a 5 o’clock Ani block when I would play two Ani songs back-to-back.

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March 25, 2014 · 9:55 am

Mortification Monday

Sunday, July 2nd

Dear Diary,

I’m back home in Florida, but I wish I was still at Lutheridge. I keep remembering little things like playing with the salt shaker at lunch, singing a song for our saying grace. I’m homesick for Lutheridge. We spent the night at the same hotel as we did last year when we went to an Atlanta Braves game. It was in Tifton. Mom thinks Jason (aka Forrest) is the nicest, most well behaved young man. He’s not that all the time. I’ve been having thoughts about the kiss between me and Jon. I know everything it happened but I feel weird inside. It’s almost like it didn’t happen. I want it to be real but I just can’t remember everything. I hope it was because I told lots of people and I wrote it in here. I would never lie to my journal. 

I wrote a song called “Just Maybe” and it’s about Friday night. I’ll write it:

“Just maybe”

I lost my heart that night

when I looked into your eyes

I felt safe in your arms

where no one could do me harm

I took a chance

by asking you to dance

Something happened inside my brain

I’ll never be the same

Chorus: 

Just maybe we’ll see 

the same stars tonight

If I look into your eyes

everything will be alright

Just maybe

You’ll remember me

 

I felt your lips on mine

Then we said our goodbyes

We went our separate ways

But I still think of you every day

 

Chorus x2

 

Just Maybe

 

 

In case you didn’t know it was about me n Jon. The kiss seems weird. I guess I’m going through denial. I loved it, in fact I wish more had happened. But it is all over with. I’ll probably never see him again. I wrote him and 4 of my friends today and I’ll mail them tomorrow. If he writes me back I’ll send him the song. I wish Jon lived here in Clearwater, Florida. I wouldn’t care what mom and dad would think. I would want to see him. I’m allowed to group date but I don’t have to worry about that since my true love lives in North Carolina. I may be just pretending that he likes me. I hope he does. Would you kiss someone you’d met 30 minutes ago if you didn’t like them.? I wouldn’t. I’ll always remember Lutheridge ’95 because on Friday, June 30th, 1995 I got my first kiss. It might have been just a peck but I don’t care.  A kiss is still a kiss.

Love, Danielle

 

Notes:

What I love most about this is that I feel the need to explain what the song is about not just once, but twice. 

 

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Bad Poetry Friday

This whole poem is one giant WTF

 

Mike #2 (2001)

The biggest screw up I ever

screwed once told me

something I’d never understand

occasionally he’s speak of

his turbulent times

Hell, we’ve all been there

some of us just keep

repeating the cycle

mixing the whites with a pair

of red socks

and everything turns piss-colored pink

in those diluted moments

I contemplate returning to old habits

and bite my tongue so hard I swallow it whole

like the way he engulfed me with silence

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Throwback Thursday

Throwback Thursday

I’m pretty sure this should be my author photo. Also proof that at age three I was a complete badass with a budding rap career. DJ Danny D in the house!

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March 20, 2014 · 7:11 pm

Tune in Tuesday: Icona Pop “I Love It”

This is one of my favorite songs to write to. It also happens to be part of Avery’s set list in SECRET HEART.

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March 18, 2014 · 12:10 pm

Mortification Monday

Saturday, July 1st

Dear Diary,

We’re on the way back from camp. I keep remembering things that happened this week like on Sunday, the arrival at camp, the games, my letter from Valerie, the people I met, my fake name (Char) and Monday the rope course-me trusting people, crawling on a board mid-air to scoop a bucket off the ground with a rod, the pool, my “cruish” on Nick, falling douwn a mt in2 mud, the table I sat at, the Vespersm the games in PB field, the pooring rain. Tuesday the trip to “warm” springs. Which was very cold, changing on the bus. Wed- canoeing, swimming, the vegetarian burger, finding out about Nick liking Carter, the gift store, the ice cream place, our shaving party, our skit starring me as Jesus and the Care vespers. On Thurs- my pj’s to breakfast day, my not talking for 7 hours, our campout. when Michael said he was gonna kill himself, the cookout, me meeting a guy named Charlie after I gave up on guys, the rain. On Fri- stuffed animals at breakfast, councelors dressing up, the dance, Jon, my first kiss, the games we played when Capture the Flag was rained out, the box game, dancing with Troy, playing water balloon volleyball, our nature walk, making cards for GD staff, our last shaving party and trying to figure out who Susan liked. Saturday was tear day. We ate a late breakfast at camp, packing, cleaning, the pictures, and goodbyes.

Right now we are in Cordale, GA. There are rude people everywhere. Jason is nice and the trip back is going fast. I guess because we have so many Lutheridge stories to share and things to remember. I’m at peace. I’m carefree with the look of love in my eyes. I just remembered a song. Here’s the part I know, “I see you in a different light, your hair falling down and love in your eyes.” Last night reminded me of 2 songs- Reba’s “She Thinks His Name Was John,” as in I met a Jon. The song goes, “Broad shoulders and blue eyes, his hair was black. She let his smile just sweep her away,” Well that describes Jon. And a song by Little Texas called “Southern Grace.” It goes, “First time I felt the magic of her kiss was under a Carolina moon.” Well that her is me and we were in orth Carolina and there was a moon. 

I feel so in love and there’s a sparkle in my eyes, one that’s never been there before. A secret smile appears when I think about Jon and the kiss. I know he doesn’t have a girlfriend. I’m going to write him. And get this- I reached all 3 of my goals. I accomplished something. I read notes about what my cabin members though ot me. Some said they liked my personality, someone said I brightened their day with my morning smile and singing, some said they liked my talents and gifts, I’m also incredably outgoing and talkative and sweet and sensative. I was there for them when they needed me. I’m a good influence, cheerful, a good friend and a person told me that I’ll be famous one day- as a pastor, singing, or writing. I was also a best friend to someone who didn’t have many friends. I was the world to her. She thought I was beautiful, creative, and nice. And one girl said, “You’ll never know how great of a friend you’ve been to me.” I not only made a differance in their lives, but everyone elses. They changed my life. I thank them. I hope I don’t sound to full of myself.

Love, Danielle

Notes:

*All spelling mistakes are intentional and as they appear in my diary.

This entry was 7 pages long.

I did sound full of myself. Actually, I sounded a little bit like a douche canoe. I kind of want to punch 1995 Danielle in the face.

I can’t believe I was quoting country songs.

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Choose Your Own Adventure: Revision Edition

You are midway through a rewrite of your novel, one that you and your agent wants turned around fast due to the nature of the market and the timeliness of the piece.

During your rewrite will you

a) throw out your back after sitting on a yoga ball for way too many hours and from doing hot yoga five days in a row

b) have to replace most of your sewer line after a 60+ year old pipe breaks and the backup causes a flood of sewer water in your basement which also houses your revision cave

c) both

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I spy in this 7ft hole a root and a broken clay sewer pipe

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This old spoon better be worth a million dollars to pay for this mess

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My beautiful front yard is now a death trap. Good thing I procrastinated on Spring gardening this year.

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