Summerteeth is one of my all time favorite albums and “Shot in the Arm” is probably the best song on it. It’s catchy as hell, but that last line “What you once were isn’t what you want to be any more” really speaks volumes.
The ashtray says you were up all night
When you went to bed with your darkest mind
Oh, you’ve changed
What you once were isn’t what you want to be any more
Inspired by my drunkenness
not what I drank,
more like the way you looked at me
my toothy grin reflecting
the beating of my heart
in your semi-conscious state
told me I must be a movie star
I just laughed and took another sip
I am filled by the taste of your tongue
My mind swirled with the nothingness
except for our kiss.
Notes: I wrote this shortly after meeting my senior year boyfriend at a party.
In today’s entries I declare my love of Carmen Sandiego, how I miss steak and beef jerky and how I can’t wait to have kids. Only one of these is still true. Can you guess which one?
April 14 1995
This next song on the playlist is a departure from last week’s, but it’s still pretty awesome. How can any mix not have Tom Waits in it? That would be a crime. Right?
Oh you got to
Hold on, Hold on
You got to hold on
Take my hand, I’m standing right here
You gotta hold on
Untitled c 1994
She’s a good girl
a real Momma’s angel
with a warning label
You can’t get too close
or stray to far
If you feel cheated, you aren’t the only one. I imagine there was supposed to be more to this Tom Petty rip-off.
In which we jump ahead six months and I tell you my whole life story in the span of three minutes.
April 14 1995
If you haven’t listened to Lykke Li, you’re seriously missing out. This Sweedish singer-songwriter is wicked adorable and her songs are catchy. This Lykke Li classic from 2008 is actually dedicated to my writing bff who had a pretty rough week and who could probably use an extra dose of inspiration. Hell, I think after this week we could all use some extra inspiration.
Working in the corner, peaking over shoulders, waiting for my time to come.
Working in the corner, one day to the other, butter for my piece of bun.
Stepping a stone and I’m all gone.
Give me the tone and I’m all gone
Yes I’m walking by the line,
Not here but in my mind.
Working a sweat but it’s all good.
Breaking my back but it’s all good.
Cause I know I’ll get it back,
I know your hands will clap.
I Didn’t Think So c1993
Would you still hold me if I was thin?
Would you still love me if I died my hair?
Would you still call if I changed my voice?
Would you still look at me if my eyes were blue?
Would you still want me if I was popular?
Would you still be intrigued if I was smart?
Would you still talk about me if I gave you something to talk about?
Would you like me better if I was more like her?
I didn’t think so.
Confession: Up until last week, I’d never read S.E. Hinton’s The Outsiders. I know that it’s on practically every other high school summer reading list, but it never was on mine. I was too busy not reading Lord of the Flies and Sir Garwin and Jane Austen.
But awhile back on a road trip with Husband and Waffle, we listened to the Rob Lowe memoir Stories I Only Tell My Friends and of course he was in the movie adaptation and the way he talked about the book made me reconsider reading it. I’ll be honest. My initial reaction was It can’t be THAT good.
I was an idiot. It was glorious and brilliant. And hella intimidating. I mean, Hinton was only 15 when she started writing the novel, and did most of the work when she was sixteen and a junior in high school. When I was 15 I was writing bad poetry and watching disaster flicks with my faux boyfriend during “the summer that nothing happened.” Hinton was 18 when the book was published. When I was 18 I was driving into neighborhood signs and breaking curfew.
Her writing is mad impressive. I love that the book is dark and the closeness these guys have. And Hinton, while writing a gritty story, doesn’t swear. Her characters cuss, but offscreen. Where my characters would say ^*&^)! and (*^%$O$% hers say “He used every swear word he knew.” And it works. (It was also published in 1967).
The point of all this is go read the damn book. You won’t regret it.
In the meantime, “stay gold.”
Better late than never! As always the boy drama is high and one of today’s entries involves a boy “skeeting” on me. So gross.