August 1, 1995
Okay there’s a hurricane (Erin) and it’s going to hit the FL (the Tampa Bay area). I’m scared to death. I’m at Nana and Papa’s. We’ll have to evacute tomorrow. I’m so tired so I’ll write tomorrow.
Okay it’s Wednesday. Erin is a tropical storm. It won’t be going through Tampa Bay but farther up. It ptobably won’t hit here in Homossassa. But as we were fixing the shop (moving stuff, sweeping) there were strong winds, enough to blow me away. And rain. But the wind was causing stuff to fall from the trees. I had to get up at 7:15 yesterday. I saw Clueless with Tina. She came over and we hung out and then helped Nana and Papa put up storm shutters up and threw the pool chairs into the pool. When we got back from the cabin last Sunday, well two the two Sundays ago I had 10 letters including one from Jon. It was 3 pages and I wrote him back. The Braves game was fun but MARTA scared me and we had to buy tickets off scalpers and the game was sold out. We missed the first two innings. We sat in centerfield, the upper deckl We moved around 4 times. The Braves won. The beach weekend was fun. We had a toga party and I got thrown in the ocean. We built sand people (Lindsey, Luka, Josh, and David and me) hung out together. I also got my own room. But more on that later when I am home.
Friday, July 21st 1995
Three weeks ago tonioght I met, fell in love with, and had my first kiss from Jon. Wow. I’m keeping track. The Delgado’s are back and my sister is palying with Steven. We saw two snakes in the creek. I sat on the porch and thought about Jon and camp and about next year if I see him again at camp. I know it sounds pathetic-all the things I’ve written in here about John, but as you see I really like him. Tomorrow is the Braves game, then on Sunday we go home to Florida! I’ll get to see Willow, Charcoal, and see if I got mail from my friend from camp.
I never realized that my eyes are green-gold and my heair gets a reddish tint to it every now and then. We went to a craft fair and shopped. I got these name keychains for Val and me and a Braves shirt (David Justice #23). At a hardware store we went to this old guy followed me around to make sure I didn’t steal anything. Like I’d steal anything. I mean get a life! Got 2 go.
Ps-My sister gave me beef jerky.
I think the PS-Beef Jerky thing was so important because I was supposed to be a vegetarian.
Tuesday, July 18th
I’m happy- I love it here , I’m in love, I’m in love. Good evening world-I love you. We played in the creek (Dad got some pictures of me on the rocks) and we car hiked. That was okay, but we met this old guy then went to this ugly ‘ole restaurant where they had okay food and the best peanut butter pie and they played country music. I took a quiet walk/hike. I’ve taken a lot of them, mainly to think of Jon and growing up and songs and stuff. We visited the people down the road (the ones with the two sons). Steven (the 11 year old) and my sister played and I talked with the adults about country music, baseball, the cabin. They called me Martina McBride. They live in Atlanta. My fav thing to do here at night is to lay on the swing listening to the familiar creeks of the the swing, the crickets, and the creek. I look at the stars and make a wish. I dream about Jon and the cabin. I watch the fireflies and remember the times I’d had at the cabin.
Sunday, July 15th
Yesterday Mom and Dads friends the S’s visited us at the cabin. I had a lot of fun. Mr. S. is going to try and get us tickets to a Braves game. I hope to go. It’s really nice up here. We’ve tubed down the creek, hiked, and picked blackberries. I love it here. I hope to take my kids here when I have some. The creek is one of the best parts of the cabin. I’ve spent hours building dams, trying to catch minnows, splashing, and just fooling around in the icy cool water.
I’ve had a lot of time to think about Jon and my future. I’ve decided to move to North Carolina and attend a Lutheran college near there. Jon is one of the reasons I want to move. I am convinced that we are destined to be together. I haven’t thought much about other guys. I need to concentrate on Jon, hoping he’ll fall in love with me. I can’t guarantee that there won’t be other girls in his life or guys in mine. I just hope he’ll realize that we are made for each other.
We tubed down the creek after dinner. My sister is okay. She and I talk. Sometimes she acts like a friend. She is cool, I guess.
Friday, July 14th, 1995
Today is Daddy;s 37th birthday and two weeks ago, my first kiss. I wrote Jon. It was 9 pages long and in the letter I wrote what I felt, like how I loved looking into his eyes, being in his arms. How I loved the slow dances and I thought I’d melt when he kissed me. I told him my real name and I told him it was my first kiss. I didn’t want to lie.
The cabin is gorgeous. The car ride yesterday was a pain in the butt. My sister is so annoying. She took my letters and tried to read them, lied and got me in trouble. Cody was good in the car. Better behaved than the both of us. I have a head cold. We went into town (McCaysville) to get a dog brush for Cody, medicine and a bandanna for me. I bet the town’s population is less than 200. I probably have more people in my neighborhood than in this town. We tubed down the creek. The water wasn’t that cold. I sat on a rock in a creek and thought if I were to have a honeymoon anywhere it would probably be here. I’m hoping in my heart that one day Jon and I will marry. I love him. I miss him. I think about him all the time.
If Jon writes me back after that confessional it will be a miracle. It’s cute that that 14 y.o. Danielle thought a Honeymoon in a cabin in the Georgia mountains was romantic. 28 y.o Danielle was smart and went to Hawaii.
Wednesday, July 11th
News Flash!!! On Monday I got mail from Ashley (AC) and ta-dah- Jon!He said he’d write and he did! Wahoo! Yes!! According to his letter he thinks I’m beautiful- I have nice eyes, smile, hair, and personality. He’d really love to see me again and wants my number. nd he wants my picture. He wants to send me one later because he has no good ones. I think he’s interested in me. But he doesn’t really remember me because I’m not beautiful. But I’ll let him think that.
Saturday, July 8
My sister found or actually saw Jon’s name and the word kiss in here. Yikes! I told her a little lie to cover it up. Last night at 10:30 was the 1 week anniversary of my first kiss. Which was real. I got mail today. A postcard from Val and letters from Katie and Carter from cam. I’m babysitting Travis. Well he’s in bed asleep. The Braves are doing well. 8 straight wins. Dave Justice hit a homer. So did Chipper Jones and Steve Avery. I really hate Jennifer A. who babysits for Travis also. She is a blonde dork. I still love Jon.
God this is embarrassing. I hope that Jon doesn’t remember me and never finds this blog.
Thursday, July 6th
I miss Jon. I’m in love with him. Almost everything I think about or song I hear, I remember and think of him. I can’t really picture his face but looking into his eyes. I mean we danced looking into each other’s eyes. Talk about intense. When I hear the song “When You Say Nothing At All” by Alison Krauss, the song (well one of them) we danced to, I stop what I’m doing and pretend I’m dancing with him. Last night I had a dream about Jon and a song “Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow.” I love Jon. I love Jon. I wrote him and I hope he writes me back.
I went to a pet shop today to pick up hamster bedding when I saw 3 kittens. They were so precious, I wanted to take them home with me but I’m not allowed. They licked and nibbled and rubbed on my fingers and purred. I wish Willow was like that to me. But I think I gave her the impression when she was tiny that I was rough. I manhandled her and constantly picked her up to give her love. I still do but not as much as my sister does. The poor cat meows if she walks by.
The Atlanta Braves are #1 in the AL East and #@ in all of the NL. The Reds hold first. The All Star Game is Tuesday the 11th. In 2 weeks we’re going to the cabin. We have to take Cody with us. That won’t be so bad. But I’ll be in the mountains- cool air and peace and peace. I miss Jon. I miss Jon. I’m in love. I’m in love.
Monday, July 3
I wish I was still at camp. I miss the air, the trees, the people, the smell, everything. I can still picture myself there singing and talking. I keep having flashbacks on things we did or something that happened. I got my pictures back of camp. Some turned out well.
Sunday, July 2nd
I’m back home in Florida, but I wish I was still at Lutheridge. I keep remembering little things like playing with the salt shaker at lunch, singing a song for our saying grace. I’m homesick for Lutheridge. We spent the night at the same hotel as we did last year when we went to an Atlanta Braves game. It was in Tifton. Mom thinks Jason (aka Forrest) is the nicest, most well behaved young man. He’s not that all the time. I’ve been having thoughts about the kiss between me and Jon. I know everything it happened but I feel weird inside. It’s almost like it didn’t happen. I want it to be real but I just can’t remember everything. I hope it was because I told lots of people and I wrote it in here. I would never lie to my journal.
I wrote a song called “Just Maybe” and it’s about Friday night. I’ll write it:
I lost my heart that night
when I looked into your eyes
I felt safe in your arms
where no one could do me harm
I took a chance
by asking you to dance
Something happened inside my brain
I’ll never be the same
Just maybe we’ll see
the same stars tonight
If I look into your eyes
everything will be alright
You’ll remember me
I felt your lips on mine
Then we said our goodbyes
We went our separate ways
But I still think of you every day
In case you didn’t know it was about me n Jon. The kiss seems weird. I guess I’m going through denial. I loved it, in fact I wish more had happened. But it is all over with. I’ll probably never see him again. I wrote him and 4 of my friends today and I’ll mail them tomorrow. If he writes me back I’ll send him the song. I wish Jon lived here in Clearwater, Florida. I wouldn’t care what mom and dad would think. I would want to see him. I’m allowed to group date but I don’t have to worry about that since my true love lives in North Carolina. I may be just pretending that he likes me. I hope he does. Would you kiss someone you’d met 30 minutes ago if you didn’t like them.? I wouldn’t. I’ll always remember Lutheridge ’95 because on Friday, June 30th, 1995 I got my first kiss. It might have been just a peck but I don’t care. A kiss is still a kiss.
What I love most about this is that I feel the need to explain what the song is about not just once, but twice.