Mortification Monday

August 11th, 1995

Dear Diary,

I’m sitting/ writing in the corner of my own room! We painted it a peachy color, but I think it looks more off white. I have green/ pink rose curtains, a green bedspread, a huge bulletin board, flowers, little rose knobs on my closet. I also put my dream catcher over my bed. We’re going to buy me a double bed, a desk, nightstand, and we’re building a bookcase. My room is still a little messy and it looks empty. 

Swim practice started on Monday (today is Friday). I have officially 9 days until high school starts. I’m nervous. Swimming is hard. We practice from 11-1 everyday (except weekends until school starts) then 3-5 after school. Saturday practices are at 8.m. I’m sore and a little red. I’ve met some nice people. I like the breaststroke best. I have thought about Jon a lot lately. I miss him and I think about him all the time. I got a letter from him on Saturday when I got home. I guess he is away at camp because I haven’t heard from him. I mailed him a letter a week ago. I tried to make him a vocal letter but it didn’t work out. I sounded weird. But I am making one for Valerie. That one doesn’t sound so weird. I know mom read my diary. Sure I’m mad but there’s no way I can change it except never leave it out again.

In all the people I meet. see I see Jon in them. If they smile or hug me I think of him. If I look into a guy’s eyes or they smile at me, I see Jon. I’m in love with him. He knows it, I might see a guy and be attracted to him but my heart beats true for one person only. That person is Jon of Raleigh, North Carolina. He plays guitar and piano and helps his dad build onto their house. Jon is a family name. His dad is Jon and so on. He is perfect (for me at least). I’ve only seen him once, but I’m still devoted to him. His letters (I’ve gotten 3) mean a lot.

Oh yeah, I’m a helper for bible school at church. The little kids are active but they are all cute and sweet. 

Okay it’s 10:38 at night. I just finished listening to “When You Say Nothing at All” by Allison Krauss and the Union Station and “Can You Feel the Love Tonight” by the Lion King. Those happen to be 2 of the songs Jon and I danced to. They were the last two before he gave me my first kiss. In my mind I was still dancing with Jon. In my mind I was still at Lutheridge. I sometimes live in the past. I pretend that I’m still with Jon. 6 weeks ago I met Jon. 6 weeks ago I got my first kiss. Six weeks ago I fell in love with the most wonderful guy in the world! Hopefully I’ll receive a letter from him tomorrow. I can’t get him off my mind. I miss him. I’m thinking of him. Do I sound like I’m obsessed with him? All I know is that I really like him. Susan, my counselor, liked a guy at Lutheridge but wouldn’t tell us what male counselor it was but now they’re seeing each other. I think she said Matthew something. If he is who I think he is, he was a PA counselor. I’ll have to ask Karen when she gets back from Nana and Papa’s. I’d better go. I’m tired. 





PS- I’m in love with Jon


I love Jon!

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