Sunday, June 26th, 1994
I’m back. I stopped writing for awhile because I found an old journal and I fixed my diary. I’m writing in here because I need a lot of space to express my feelings. I wish I had my own room! And my own bathroom. I could finally have some peace and quiet. I could lock the door, turn up my radio, and read or do whatever. I’d also wish for my own phone with my own line. Almost everything would be green and pink flowers. I could have my own desk and be neat. I had my own room for three years but don’t remember it. I also had it for 3 days while my sister was gone. Boy was it nice. I cleaned it and it looked great but when she came home it once again became a Disaster Zone. I hate her and mom. I only like to clean when I feel like it. Every day mom sits on her butt and reads and I clean. Then the house gets messy again. I would love to live in a house full of neat freaks. I would love to live in Lauren’s house. She has her own room with totally cool clothes and stuff. And have a clean house. Why can’t my parents ever try to keep the house in good condition? I’m embarrassed to have anyone over. My house is full of slobs!
It was hard growing up as the only “neat freak” in a house of non neat freaks. As I’ve grown older I’ve realized that my house growing up was no worse than anyone else’s. But I’m still anal retentive about cleaning and organizing and my sister has stopped letting me come stay with her because I go through her house and clean it and she can’t find anything anymore. Fortunately I married someone who is relatively neat and who totally cool with doing the dishes and laundry and who doesn’t leave dirty socks on the floor. Of course now I own four pets who shed like crazy and despite my best efforts, there are tumbleweeds of pet hair and dust bunnies under my couch.